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How Did You Get Here? A Pattern

February 27, 2022 By TheVillageLady Leave a Comment

There’s nothing more exhausting than keeping track of which parts of yourself you’ve shared or what you have approved others to share. Instead of all the tracking efforts, why not tell your story yourself?

Last December around the holidays, a friend asked, how did you get here? After a short pause, I started what seemed like a response only to have her interrupt my thoughts to ask another question. Have you ever told this story to anyone? No, I said, I have never told all of it. Only parts, and it was either based on the space I, or we occupied.

Since then, I have been working on the answer to the question, how did you get here? You can listen to the podcast series of the same name where I’ve shared the first three episodes or you can read some of it here.

This photo was taken in the early ’90s capturing a pattern of departure from home. The other photos are of my first home, a place of humble beginnings. My home is Dominica. My home is my village, Wesley. Home is my grandmother, childhood memories, friends, and food. Home is the freedom to be. My departure from home often occurs about three or four weeks after reconnecting.

The reconnection and the departure evoke extreme and opposite emotional responses. The reconnection is warm, its laughter, appreciation, joy, and a knowing that it won’t last but for only three maybe four weeks.

The departure is emotionally violent. It’s sorrow and tears. It’s leaving friendships, and family behind. It’s the reality that I may not see my senior family members alive again. It’s experiencing a headache, turned into a migraine from the tears I cry from take off until landing in Puerto Rico to make my connecting flight to Washington DC.

If you miss it so much, why can’t you go back or stay? That is often the question that is asked after I’ve shared the above. It’s easy and difficult to understand and to do. So how did I get here? It took the sacrifice of my grandmother and the appreciation of my village for fostering my formative years.

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: answer, completelyme, departure, Dominica, home, howdidyougethere, Island, islandgirl, mystory, owningmyself, podcast, question, storytelling, villagelady, villagelife, villageupbringing

About Homelessness

November 23, 2019 By TheVillageLady Leave a Comment

Images of a pregnant woman walking the streets wondering where she’ll spend the night are not something anyone can see without wanting to step in the help. Helping is almost impossible unless her story is told. Mothers in this state of crisis usually aren’t forthcoming with their stories or pleas for help. The urgency of a home is more pressing than telling someone who may or may not help. This is where we come in.

Most of us never really have had to deal with homelessness or the thought of not having a home. There is not one specific situation that leads women to the homeless, but rather a series of events. There is a cycle that needs to be broken in some instances to bring an end to homelessness. Some of the circumstances stem from aging out of foster care, job loss, illness, relocation, divorce, abandonment or a cycle of poverty, a cycle repeats.

A Purdue study found “when a family becomes homeless the entire family’s life, normalcy, sense of securing and whatever semblance of functionality that once existed is now completely disrupted and off-balance. Any routine or appearance of normalcy changes. The conditions of “normal” life, from mundane activities of daily living (regular showers or doing laundry) to the important job of getting a child to school, are brought to a sudden halt. Household foundations, however weak they may have been in the past, may become nonexistent once homelessness occurs.”

Whatever the circumstances surrounding a person’s or family’s homelessness, they are likely to worsen once homelessness becomes a reality. Even if job loss is the explanation for an individual’s homelessness, such an unexpected crisis can quickly worsen and can lead to depression, unemployment, and other conditions that will make it more difficult for a family to regain economic stability and a home. 

A woman who is pregnant and homeless doesn’t care about attending classes to get a pack and play or diapers.  She cares about getting a roof over her head before night falls. Whether it’s getting into a shelter, sleeping in a car, a quiet bathroom or a tent in the woods. These are her concerns. Programs like Carried To Full Term are necessary to help stabilize families in crisis as a result of homelessness. When families are given the support, resources, and tools like those offered by Carried To Full Term and similar programs, then and only then, will they be to focus on developing routines that include job searches and grocery shopping.

Click here to learn more about Carried To Full Term.

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Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: brightfuture, empowered, future, home, homelessness, hope, hopefilled, housing, keys, women, women #babies #children #housing #notype #lonely #abandoned #homeless #unwanted #pregnancy #hopeless #savinglives #family #maternity #homenonprofit #fathers #daughters, womenandbabies

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